As an average person curious about expanding my dating horizons, I decided to give DoubleList a try. DoubleList bills itself as a respectful and discreet platform for adults seeking casual encounters, hookups, and dating connections across all orientations. With over 3 million users in North America, it seemed like a good way to dip my toe into more adventurous relationship waters.
Nonetheless, since DoubleList allows you to interact with anyone, I made sure to focus on staying safe. After reviewing the guidelines, messaging expectations, proper profile usage, and meetup tips, I found important advice for safe adult dating. Having any sexual identity, use these tips to get the most fun while staying safe.
Verifying Real Users and Intentions
DoubleList emphasizes “real people, real connections” as a core value. To filter out bots and spammers, all accounts require email verification. Users also have member levels based on account history, with higher levels granted more privileges. This creates incentives for authentic participation.
I avoid engaging with new or unverified users and stick to Level 2–5 members with detailed profiles. This signals they are invested in building trust and transparency around their identities and intentions on the platform. Whether you’re there to share your own experiences, find a like-minded partner, or simply browse intriguing sex stories, verifying real users is essential to ensuring those connections are genuine and respectful.
Vetting Connections Through Messaging
Since contacts are not allowed to be shared in posts on DoubleList, users have to communicate via the app’s internal chat system. It provides a safe way to communicate with people you might be interested in dating.
I use the message exchange to get a sense of a person’s traits, how we connect, what they expect and what their boundaries are, before arranging a meeting. Talking with a person for a few days lets you assess if they seem like they can be trusted. If I notice someone being pushy, angry or thinking they are better, I kindly step away.
Crafting a Profile for Safety
When creating a profile on DoubleList, try to show your true self without revealing too many personal details. It is not allowed to share anyone’s last name, location, social media pages, or contact details on the platform.
I have included my basic information, interests, what kind of partner I’m looking for, and what kinds of connections I’m interested in. I don’t talk too much about my past or other irrelevant details. A general yet friendly description on your profile is safer, as it allows both parties to check each other out while messaging.
Safe Meetup Protocols
When you decide to meet a person you met online, make sure to follow certain guidelines for safety. The first meet-up should be in a public place such as a cafe or a park. Refuse to meet at someone’s home.
You should also travel alone and let someone close to you know where you are. Try to contact your friend before, during, and after the date so they know you’re safe. If you sense that things are not right during your meeting, just leave at that moment.
Protecting Personal Info and Digital Footprints
When you are on adult platforms, be sure to protect your details and your activity history on the web. Activate privacy features on your social media profiles, and also use a Google Voice number as another way people can reach you.
Try not to link your DoubleList account to other services, as this could expose the fact that you use adult dating websites. When you separate your public and private lives into different compartments, you face fewer risks.
Thinking Beyond My Own Experience
As a straight woman dipping a toe into casual dating, I have inherent advantages around visibility and social power dynamics. Marginalized groups like LGBTQ+ and non-binary users face heightened safety risks in adult dating spaces.
My learnings around vetting connections, securing information, and taking precautions can hopefully help limit vulnerability. But more importantly, DoubleList and its users must foster actively inclusive, anti-discriminatory community standards. Only through collective responsibility can we work to balance open sexual expression with care and justice for all identities.
Owning My Choices
Ultimately, there is still no way to completely get rid of the dangers involved when looking for casual friendships with people online. We should not ridicule adults who take part in this type of intimacy by choice.
I am able to make my experience more enjoyable by being mindful of my actions, reviewing each encounter carefully, and valuing my ability to make choices. If I pay attention to what matters to me and what I need, as well as respect my partners, the adventures I have will reflect those values, too.
Key Takeaways for Safe Adult Dating
- Verify user profiles through account history and details.
- Vet compatibility and trustworthiness through messaging.
- Craft profiles that balance personality with privacy.
- Follow strict meetup protocols around public spaces and check-ins.
- Compartmentalize personal info and digital footprints.
- Foster inclusive community standards that support vulnerable groups.
- Take personal ownership of choices while assessing risks.
While DoubleList tries to ensure safe experiences, everyone involved needs to be cautious in their actions. Looking after each other with respect, empowerment, and caring encourages us to form close relationships without giving up our values. The lessons we learn are a result of the effort we put in at every stage.